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awaywithmedeartragedy
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Name: Kristin.Marie
Country: Ireland
Gender: Female
Interests: its like a spark, a single flash that removes you from your feet and sends you to dangle above the air. for one second, five minutes, an hour even. always it leaves you feeling so estranged, like you suddenly met your mother or lover which you've never laid eyes on before in your life, but know better than your own heart. and then tehre before you - possibly the most significance a single moment can hold. but no one tests those limits so thoroughly, they are beyond our reach of sight, of age, of time.
Expertise: broken and dismantled. Whispering, come to me my tragedy with chapped lips, leaving blood upon her startandstop words. Weaving sentiment with harsh reality, as she steps off the curb. Turning to face the headlights coming up the street of the town that bought her, sold her to the night. After hours she would sit on the side of the road, spewing her memory onto the pavement, mixing the gravel with her tears.
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  xletthestarsfall
Member Since:
4/11/2004
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| bye bye. no more. done. fin.
you better visit me here. please? you will, won't you? you will?
<3 | | |
| [this isn't going to be another shot in the dark]
how many times do we say goodbye?
i clench my fists, pull my eyelids over the pools that are forming beneath them tight. quickly, quickly now. pull on your shoes, darling, we'll dance our blues away in the streetlight. i'll run ahead of you, swing myself around the oldfashioned lamposts that line the streets of this town. turn back with a wild grin and shout your name. i don't know who you are. but love me anyway, sweetie. love me crazy and free. c o m e f i n d m e . | | |
| currently playing: "the scientist" - coldplay.
you're my ghost, beautiful.
my very own history
i hate how its all for you
i hate how its all for you
i hate how its all for you
i hate how its all for you
i hate how its all for you
don't you know?
don't you see it, dearest?
i'm still here...
i'm your rag doll. waiting.
[...i'm not okay. i promise.]
but i will be. soon.
...soon i'll see stars... | | |
| listening to: "andrew's song" - the smiths
continued from last post...:
i dug frantically through my bag in an attempt to find my keys. finally, my fingers curled around them. my hands were shaking as i opened the door, realizing it had already been unlocked. who was this man? had i ever seen him before? i dropped my things and cautiously made my way across the room to where the man stood on the balcony. when he heard me coming, he turned around and said, evenly, "i've been writing, darling. every letter and syllable for you." it felt like the depth of the atlantic ocean had fallen into my heart. his words ate their way threw the protective layers i had wrapped around my insides to keep from disappearing entirely. creeping up from so far within me i didn't know that the pit of my stomach still had a voice, i spoke to him the words i had been hiding for so long "how did i let you get away?" but i was trembling, my lips were quivering and no words had come out of my mouth. we have changed our names, rearranged our faces, but ever and always we continue in the past, in that same pattern, perfection through pain. neither of us spoke for the next seven minutes.
silently, achingly, every moment we had ever spent together was flashing through my mind. still-frames of the happiest seconds of my life. standing on the stairs, with him waiting at the top and turning to smile. him moving toward me, his hands on my hips, his lips seeking mine. the solemn, full of promise expression, lying next to me, a spear into my soul. he was the true one i wanted to join on that windowsill, to fly into oblivion.
"love's an excuse to get hurt, and to hurt... do you like to hurt? 'i do, i do' then hurt me..."
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| - -
"Starting over is never easy, especially when its right. right things are scarier than wrong things because there are so many huge things to consider; and i cannot stop wondering what autumn has in store for me...."
there are very many ways to introduce yourself to a person. some, obviously, work better than others. my friends, being the highly inventive people that they are, are fond of the more offbeat ways, such as walking up to someone you don't know and pronouncing "hey there, i like your shoes." or, "what shampoo do you use?" but i've always been too shy to use those (occasionally misconstrued as exteremly lame pickup lines) anecdotes. but i digress. meeting people, for me, has always been a little bit more like meeting a piece of myself for the very first time, even if that piece decides to walk directly back out sooner than expected. and when they leave you standing in the middle of the road at two in the morning, mouth agape, its hard to fight the fact that it feels like they never existed once they have rounded that corner one final time.
ever since i can remember, i have viewed my life as some b-movie that never amounted to as much as i hoped for, even at a young age. by twentytwo, it was just that. everything felt unreal, my bedroom was a facade, covering something much darker and more sinister and my eyes and expression did the same. i had molded everything around me so that it was neutral. i was switzerland. no opposition, no favor. i did what i had to do to get by, to not think, because i was drilling it into my head that all thinking did was screw you over. walking down the street, i kept my eyes firmly on my saddleshoes and argyll socks so as to avoid confrontation. there was no possible way i could have done anything to deserve a man i had never met trying to kill himself by jumping out of my apartment window. ezra matthews kensington.
i couldn't find my key, and time was standing still. | | |
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